January 15, 2009

Something's been on my mind lately...


A few days ago, I discovered a blog called Liquid Illuzion. Sadly, the author of the blog, fondly known as Liquid, or Jeri Suzanne Horne, took her own precious life on Christmas Eve. For the past few days, I have been exploring her blog and reading many posts of her friends blogs that give tribute and celebrate the life of someone who was a ray of sunshine in the lives of everyone who knew her. It saddens me to tears... because the world has lost a talented, warm, and beautiful person.
The subject of suicide touches me in a very personal way, because in my lifetime, I have had 3 friends take their own lives. I have also been through severe periods of depression where I, myself, have contemplated suicide. So, I can relate to this in a very strong way.
Please take a moment or some time to visit Liquid's blog. She was a very gifted photographer and poet... and had a lot of love for her friends, as well as a great sense of humor. Though her physical being is gone, her light continues to shine.

Rest in Peace, Suzanne and may you have found the peace you were searching for.

14 comments:

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

Sending a big hug to you Leesa. I can understand what her family must be feeling, My sister took her own life in July 2007, and I also lost a good male friend a few years back. Such a huge loss, and a waste of such beautiful people. All in my prayers.

Leesa said...

Thanks so much Anne...

I've been feeling very blue over the past few days after reading about this lovely and vibrant woman... Just brings tears to my ears and weighs so heavy on my heart at such a loss... I think so much about what the family and friends are going through after losing a beloved person... I am sorry for your loss, too. It's such a senseless loss, I wish that people would find peace in their lives without having to go to the extreme of stopping their own... It is such a waste... and causes so much sadness by all left behind. Sending big hugs to you.... Thanks again for your hug and prayers... Leesa

Starman said...

When I was in junior high school, I had a friend who committed suicide. No one could understand why this beautiful guy took his own life. He was popular, handsome, talented and intelligent. I, too, once considered suicide. But I came to my senses and realized how utterly stupid it is to even think about it. Unless one is suffering from an extremely painful, incurable disease, it is absolutely stupid to commit suicide. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

Barbara said...

Hi Leesa,
I'm sorry to hear this. I have never been to this lady's blog, and it is surely an enormous loss.

I say that even in the happiest and most sucessful of us,can sometimes exist pain and suffering.Though most of us can ride it out, some cannot, and will choose to "leave their problems" instead of seeking help.

Just to say, whatever the problem,grab a hold, and find someone to talk to !

Big hugs to you, my dear xxxxxx

The Bold Soul said...

So sorry to hear this sad story, Leesa, and I hope you're feeling a bit better or at least less sad. I also don't really understand the thinking of someone who chooses to go down that path other than to say they must be feeling some kind of pain and also suffer from the inability to see another possibility for their lives. Which maybe is to me, the saddest part of suicide, that one's imagination is devoid of that sense of possibility. A high school friend killed himself about 7-8 years ago around the time we were all hitting 40, and left behind a 3-yr old son he totally adored. He was in the middle of a very ugly divorce from a woman who only wanted to sleep around and party, and he had a history of chronic depression apparently. But no one really felt he was that far gone, and I remember one of my other friends was so ANGRY about it at the funeral, about the waste of Scott's life and why didn't Scott reach out to one of us? But being angry or sad doesn't bring the person back.

Maybe the lesson we can take away with us is how important it is to live our own lives to the fullest, and at those times when things are not going so well, to make every effort to reach out to another person for help. Better to feel embarrassed or "weak" because you need help than to give away the gift of your life.

Leesa said...

Starman-- Thanks for sharing this. It's something I can understand because I have felt that bad, it's like the feeling envelops you and you feel so hopeless. I have read that Suzanne was bi-polar and I think that may have been a factor in her depression.
I have gone through severe and periods of depression in my life and I can relate but at the same time, I can't bring myself to do it, because it is so final and I do believe that after some time/and professional help if necessary/things will get better. It's when you are at your lowest point that you think there is no other way to stop the pain than to end your life. It's so sad and breaks my heart.

Leesa said...

Barbara-- Yes, it's a great loss. Even I feel the loss and I hadn't found her blog until after her tragic end. I just feel like it's such a waste of a precious life. It's so senseless. I do agree with you. Sometimes people seem so happy on the outside, you would never know that they have so much inner turmoil... It really feel for her kids and her family/friends. Thanks for your comments.

Leesa said...

Lisa (TBS) - Thanks for stopping by with your words of encouragement, thoughts and personal experience with this subject. I think that things like this really affect me greatly because I have already had 3 friends take their lives. One had a 1 year old daughter. He was only 27 and going through a bad breakup with his girlfriend. He also had some other issues he was going through but it was soooo sad that he couldn't work through them... His father took his life when my friend was 18. WOW!
Another friend from work took her life because of problems in her marriage- she had two teenage kids... Sooo sad!
I think you are definitely right on in your thoughts for the lesson to be learned in the midst of all of this sadness... that we should try to reach out to someone if we are struggling with something. I really think that some people already have it made up in their mind and are determined to take their own lives, but I also think that there is always hope... Thanks so much for sharing and thanks for stopping by my blog! Nice to see you here. I follow your blog pretty regularly.
Have a nice weekend. Leesa

Ron said...

Hi Leesa!

I actually went over and visited her blog after I read your post.

Such a beautiful lady!

All I keep thinking about are her family and friends, and what they must be going through.

I mean...I can't even IMAGINE?!?!

To have someone here one moment and then not, must be excruciating.

Well, I will be sharing much love and healing with her loved ones.

Thank you for sharing this Leesa.

And take care my friend, because I know this feels close to you.

Love ya!
X

P.S. and I LOVE the new color to your blog!

Susan in Lille said...

I find it so strange that you mention that she brought sunshine to other people's lives. It sounds like she was unable to bring it to her own. I wish it had been different.

The thing I found comforting at the conclusion of your post is that as I read the last few sentences I noticed the picture of the baby in the previous post. Maybe she will get another chance and have a fresh new start. Maybe when one door closes a window really does open.

God bless. Or who/whatever it is out there you hold dear.

Phivos Nicolaides said...

Oh Jesus Chris, what can I say...

74WIXYgrad said...

As you could probably tell, Suzanne and I were very close. We never met, but emailed each other quite a bit and talked on the phone a few times. I'm glad that out of her passing, others have discovered her work. I just wish she could be around to see all of this. Possibly could have made things a little more tolerable for this very special person in my life.

But as Amias would say, enjoy her photos and her sense of humor. That's what Suzanne would want.

rdl said...

so unbelievable sad! she was a blogger friend - but so very real to me - i had hoped to meet her someday.

Tassy said...

Leesa, I have known suzanne through blogging as she commented on one of my cards and I went to visit her blog and that is how our friendship started.
I didnt know until last Friday about her.I visited her couple of days before she passed away and left a comment.Then I got very sick with flu and when I realised I didnt hear from her , i went to say hello and when I saw the post about her death, I felt as though I was suffocating.I was sitting casually in bed.I sat down straight up and tried to find out if this is a joke.But sadly realised it isnt.Tears were running down my cheeks and I broke down into tears and I was really shocked and saddened by this shocking news.
Suzanne was a ray of sunshine.I have never met her but we did plan to meet up when she comes to UK.She responded to the projects I made for her which I sent over to her(kitchen sinks) and wot she wrote to me,made me feel so special, so good about myself....that I decided I will never stop crafting, no matter what! This is the effect she had on me.She was good , really good person.She was beautiful inside out.And yeah, she gave love to us all but couldnt love herself enough.
But knowing suzanne, she wouldn't want anyone to cry over her, she wouldn't want anyone to feel sad for her.She would want to be remembered with a smile....As she was the reason of so many smiles acorss the world.
Thanks Leesa for this post.And yes, no matter what the reason might be, it must have been something she only can explain....May her soul rest in peace.

Leesa, thanks for adding me to your blog roll.I am glad you like my blog.Thanks.

Speak to you soon and who knows maybe when you are in UK
Bye and tc
Tassy
x
Parlez vous francais? Puisque je parle francais , et aussi langlais!